Watch Me
by Ohharles
Summary: Amu has had a rough start to her early adult life. After losing both their parents in a car accident, she does everything for the sake of her little sister, but when an old friend comes back in town can she learn to let her walls down?
1. Chapter 1

SO, this is the first fanfic I've written in years, literally. Enjoy.

I sat in class, chin resting on the back of my clasped hands, elbows on desk, and stared out the window. College hadn't exactly been going the way I'd planned. One of my closest friends Utau, had moved countries to pursue her ongoing music career and most of the others from high school had either moved away to achieve their own happiness, had become so weighed down in their own education it left them mostly unavailable, or in some cases, still in High School. I shifted position to rest my chin in the palm of my left hand, playing with a long strand of my hair with the right. I had bleached and dyed my hair a cotton candy pink back in high school and the color just stuck. It had since then grown out to the middle of my back and I kept it loose and tousled. It wasn't a very popular color and got me quite a few looks but I liked it. My golden eyes never left skyline of the city from out the window. The college I studied at was a few miles from down town and my seat in the very back of the class always gave the best view.

"Amu?" I shifted my gaze back to the teacher who was giving me an incredulous look. "Will you answer…." He rambled on. My eyes snapped to the board which had the problem sprawled across it.

"10xy." I answered and went back to looking outside.

He sputtered and went back to his lecture. _So cool. _I heard a younger girl whisper to her friend. I mentally rolled my eyes. I wasn't being cool. I just couldn't handle social situations that well. So I put up walls to avoid issues. My eyes narrowed as I remembered the previous summer.

I learned my now ex-boyfriend had been cheating on me with one of our underclassmen…because she put out. Some auburn brunette named Saaya. A notorious "fan girl" of Tadase and he just couldn't say no to a girl with plunging necklines. I sighed and gathered my things as the clock ticked onto 10 am. I only took one class, I was still undecided on what "I wanted to do with my life."

I slung my bag over my shoulder and flattened the skirt of my pastel red summer dress. The chest area was tight with thin straps and flowed around my thighs. The light click of my black kitten heeled shoes sounded from the pavement. With one hand I swept my hair over one shoulder. It sure was warm today. Ah well, just a better reason to hurry home. I was supposed to meet up with another childhood friend, Rima, but she'd recently blown up in the modeling industry and was, yet again, busy on a shoot. So she canceled last night. I lifted my wrist to check my watch.

"Maybe I'll bring a cake home for Ami." I said to myself. _Today is my day off, maybe I'll just spend it with her. I think I'll just go pick her up so she doesn't have to walk home today and we can go to a café and get cake._

I lived with my little sister who was still in high school. As a result to try and support us both I worked as a librarian at her high school. It paid decent and I could keep a better eye on her. I wasn't our mother but sisters can worry too. Our parents had both passed away a few years ago. I had just entered high school and Ami had was only in her last year of grade school. Since I was a minor we bounced around from relative to relative for 4 years until I graduated. For most of those 4 years we barely got to see each other since our family could only provide for one extra. We ended up being split up. I promised Ami on my graduation night that I was going to get a job and come and get her. I fulfilled my end of the bargain and worked my ass for a year to get her back. I saved up enough money and bought a two roomed apartment just a mile from her school.

"_I promise you Ami!" I said as fireworks boomed above us. "Big sis here is going to earn lots of money and then I'll come get you and we can be a family again!"_

_Ami cried and hugged me tightly. "You betta promise Amu! I don't wanna be alone anymore!"_

I shook my head out of my memory cloud as I ran into something. I fell back and landed hard on the sidewalk. I rubbed the side of my hip as I noticed a lightly tanned hand reaching towards me. I took it graciously.

"Thanks. I'm wasn't watching where I was going, sorry."

"Head in the clouds?" Wait a second….

My eyes snapped up to a tall man with shaggy hair that was so black is had a blue hue and equally black and angular eyes to match.

"Ikuto!" I jumped to my feet and threw my arms around him. "When did you get back?!"

Ikuto was Utau's brother and my childhood friend since I was 12, but a year ago he had gone over seas on tour. He was a professional violinist. I thought I'd been in love with him once but I deemed it childhood idiocy. He'd never felt that way about me. He hugged me back tightly.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" he asked as he let me go.

"I was going to go surprise Ami and pick her up from school and take her to go get some cake." I was thoughtful for a moment. "Want to come? I'm sure she'd love to see you again." I bit my lip, secretly hoping he'd agree.

"Okay," he smiled. "I'm on vacation anyways."

"My car's just over there in that parking lot want a ride?"

He nodded and followed me to my little, red, four door car. He hopped in the passenger seat.

"So, how come you were on this side of town?" I asked as I started the engine.

"I'm renting an apartment a couple miles away and was bored. Decided to go for a walk. Didn't think I'd run into you. When'd you start going to school?"

"Oh I'm just taking a term right now, starting a couple weeks ago. I work at Ami's school and they want to hire me full time so I might just end up dropping out next term."

"Hn."

I peeked out the corner of my eyes at him. He sat still with his hands crossed in his lap. We hadn't really talked much since I graduated. He left only a week after the ceremony.

"How are you?" I was surprised by his question.

"What do you mean?"

"With life, how are you? Utau mentioned you kind of stepped in as a parent for Ami a couple months ago."

"Ah that." I half chuckled. "Well, it's been tough but I'm surviving. Ami's finally starting to laugh again. I really thought I was going to lose her for a while there, but she pulled through. I'm really proud of her." I smiled warmly. "I thought losing my parents was hard on me but Ami was just a little girl when that accident happened. She was only 10 years old." The incidents of that horrible night flooded my mind.

"_Amu! Amu!" Ami danced around me happily. "Play it! Play it!" _

_She wanted me to play her favorite anime. I flipped it on the TV and turned when I heard the phone ring. _

"_I'm going to go answer that Ami, it might be mom and dad." I giggled. "I think they're staying late at Aunt Claire's." I tapped away quickly to the kitchen where the house phone was. "Hello? HInamori residence."_

"_Amu?!" I heard my Aunt Claire in hysterics. _

"_Aunt Claire? What's wrong?" _

"_Your uncle is on his way to get you. It's an emergency so I need you to hurry up and get yourself and your sister dressed okay? Dress warm. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you. I…." I heard the phone suddenly drop and I felt my stomach sink hard. My uncle picked up the phone. _

"_Amu. I need you to be brave okay?"_

"_Please. Just tell me what's going on! Tell me!" I whispered harshly. I didn't want Ami to hear me._

_I heard a long sigh and a stifled sob. "It's…it's your parents Amu. They were on their way home and-and the car came out of nowhere….they think the driver was drunk…"_

"_Oh my god." I felt myself sink to the floor. "No, god please no. They're okay right?! They have to be okay! Please! UNCLE ANSWER ME."_

"_W-we don't know Amu. The ambulance just got here they're being rushed to the hospital. I'm on my way to your house now. Your aunt went with them." With that he hung up. Or dropped the phone. I couldn't tell through my own muffled sobs. _

"_Ami!...AMI!" I screamed frantically from the kitchen. I ran to the living room and shut off the TV._

"_Hey!...Amu? What's going on?"_

"_Ami I need you to get upstairs and get dressed. Now. I'll be up in a minute."_

"_Bu-"_

"_Just go!"_

_She jumped up and ran up the stairs. I tried to calm my frantic breathing before following her up. After she changed out of her pajamas I told her to get her backpack and pack it with whatever toys or books she wanted. I knew we'd be up all night. I was just finished packing things up myself when I heard a knock at the door. I practically fell down the stairs running to get it. It was my uncle. He fell to his knees and hugged me. I kept my voice low and tried to hold my tears. _

"_How are they?"_

"_I don't know. There's been no word from Claire yet." He leaned back and gripped my shoulders. "Amu, you need to be brave. I don't know how long they have if…." He trailed off and looked away from me._

"_If at all." I finished his sentence in a dry tone._

_At that point Ami was running down the stairs with her backpack. I grabbed the house key and held Ami close as we walked out to my uncle's car. Ami climbed in the back seat and I sat in the front. The drive to the hospital was long and I could barely stop myself from crying. But sitting in the waiting room was even worse. I jumped from the seat when the doctor came to get us. But I knew from the look on his face that they were gone. Aunt Claire hid her face and my uncle hugged her tightly. Her sobs were muffled. I fell to my knees and then slumped down. Ami fell onto my lap and wailed so hard her body shook. I quickly picked her up and held her in my arms. _

"_Mommy! Daddy! No! NO! WHY! WHY!" she cried. _

_Tears streamed silently down my face as I held her in my arms. I helped her stand as I saw the doctor begin to leave. _

"_Wait!" I called as I sat Ami in a chair. She was still sobbing. I asked my uncle to give me three minutes and then to let Ami follow me. I ran up to the doctor, my voice began to shake. "Can I see them? Please. Let me see my parents."_

_He nodded and I followed him into their room. The nurses had cleaned them up so they weren't bloody anymore but I could still see their scrapes. I sat in a chair by the bed and collapsed on the side, fully letting myself sob now. I was praying for a miracle something to make them come back but nothing happened. I heard someone click open the door._

"_Hello sweetheart, I was their nurse. You're Amu I presume?" I turned and looked at her, eyes full of tears. She hugged me tightly. "In their last moments they asked me to pass you a message. They said to tell their girls that they loved them very much. To tell Amu to be brave and take care of Ami. That they're so proud of the young lady you've become and to let you know that they'll always watch over you two from heaven and can't wait to see the women you turn into." _

_I cried even harder and Ami rushed into the room. I stood immediately and wiped away my tears to no avail. I hugged her tightly and told the nurse thank you. When we finally left their room I turned back to look at them one last time. _

"_Goodbye Mom and Dad. We love you too."_

_I sat in the back seat with Ami on our way to our aunt and uncle's house. They said going home might be too painful right now. The trauma caused Ami to pass out as soon as she buckled in, her head resting on my shoulder. I looked out the window at the stars. I miss you guys already. I won't let you down. _


	2. Chapter 2

A bit more light hearted this time! Enjoy :)

Ikuto and I spent the rest of the car ride to Ami's school in silence. I think he didn't want to over step any boundaries. Being socially awkward already, and not wanting to continue the painful silence anymore I spoke up.

"Ikuto…"

"Hn?" He cocked his head towards me slightly.

"I never thanked you and Utau." I said looking down, embarrassed. "You two never left my side and put me up a lot when my family could only provide for Ami."

I heard him chuckle softly. "Amu," I pulled in a parking spot across the street and turned to look at him. He leaned across to my seat. He kissed my cheek lightly. "You're our family too."

I smacked his arm. "Hey now don't you get mushy on me!"

He laughed and opened up his car door. We waited by the gates of the school and after a few minutes we saw Ami emerge from the crowd. Her honey colored curls bounced in the pigtails she tied up high. They twirled like little drills down to her shoulders. She was laughing with her friends. I saw her light golden eyes flicker over towards the gate and she saw Ikuto and me. Her mouth opened wide and I heard her squeal from across the courtyard. Ikuto and I looked at each other and laughed. I rarely ever got to get Ami anymore since I was always busy with either school or working. Even though I worked in her school the library was on the opposite end of her classroom and she had become comfortable enough in school she didn't visit that often anymore.

Ami ran up to us and threw her arms around me. I hugged her back tightly before she jumped in Ikuto's arms.

"Amu! You came to pick me up! And IkuIku is here to!"

"I ran into Ikuto earlier and thought we'd surprise you and go get some cake."

She squealed again. Her favorite café wasn't too far away from her school. I loved spending time with Ami like this. I excused myself to go to the bathroom as we were leaving.

As I came back to reunite with Ami and Ikuto I saw Ikuto give me a look to stop. I unconsciously hid behind the corner.

_What am I a child? Hiding like this. _

"Amu looks happier, I'm glad you're back IkuIku." I heard Ami's voice.

"Oh? She miss me that much?" I could hear the damn smirk in his voice.

"I think she just misses everyone in general. I know she's lonely, but she works so much…I know she does it for me but I can't help but feel guilty. She's worked so hard these past couple of years to keep us together and even lived out of her car for a month or two…" I looked at the floor. I did hit rock bottom for a while.

"Yeah I remember that," Ikuto sighed. "That's when Utau found her again and we had her live with us until she graduated."

"I wish I could do something for Big sis...I've depended on her so much…we..we've lost so much… she's done so much….she's all I have.." I could hear Ami starting to cry and I ran around the corner. I grabbed her and held her close. She sobbed into my chest.

"You hush now," I soothed. "Ami you're **my **world and you're all I have too. Everything I did I did for us. I can't say I was completely selfless in what I did. I didn't want to be separated from my family any more than you. Losing Mom and Dad was one of the hardest things we've had to go through, but we can only move up okay?"

"But…I can…never pay…you back…" she said between muffled sobs.

"Pay me back? Ami I didn't go through all of that for you to pay me back. Getting to live with you again and be your sister was payment enough. Seeing you do well socially and scholastically is the only payment I need. I saw you earlier with your friends, it's been years since you've laughed like that. I promised I would take care of you and that's what I plan to do. Got it?"

"Got it." She laughed softly.

"Now come on, let's get you home!" I looked up at Ikuto. "Want to stay for dinner?"

"I have to go run some errands but I can come back later?"

"Alright," I smiled. "Dinner will be ready around seven." He winked at me and turned to leave. "You don't need a ride?"

"Nah. I feel like stretching my legs."

On the way home Ami fell asleep in the passenger seat. Crying always pushed her to a point of exhaustion.

_Has she always been feeling that way? I'm sorry Ami, this isn't the life you should have had._

Once we entered our apartment she tapped quickly to her bedroom. At least in all of this we didn't have to share a room and she could have her own space. I made sure of that. Privacy is important for a teenager.

"Ami! Do you still have that book? Remember to return it tomorrow!" I called to her from the kitchen.

"Kaaayy!" I heard her call back and I smiled.

Ami and I sat down and turned on the latest episode of our favorite show. Just as the episode ended there was a knock at the door.

"Hey Ikuto," I said after opening the door.

He smiled and stepped inside. We gathered around our tiny dining table. I served them each a plate of the home made spaghetti I made.

"This is great Amu! When'd you learn to make this?" Ami asked diving into her diner plate.

"Oh you know, online," I smiled but looked away from her.

I didn't want to tell her it was one of mom's recipes. Mom kept a book of all her favorite meals and desserts. It was one of my most treasured possessions. I didn't want to make Ami sad….our parents had become sort of a taboo topic in our home and I felt it was better if the accident and our life before wasn't talked about often.

After dinner Ami went to her room to do her homework and Ikuto helped me wash the dishes. I felt him bump me with his elbow. I laughed and gave him a faked wounded look.

"Why didn't you tell her?" I was surprised.

"About the book?" I put my hands on the edge of the sink and leaned. "Ami doesn't eat enough already. I don't want her losing her appetite by mentioning _that._" I sighed and my shoulders sunk.

He nudged me with his shoulder. "Hey now, come on. She wouldn't want to see you sad. You're doing your best. It's okay."

"Thanks Ikuto. You're actually a decent guy if you try." I snickered and he threw me a teasingly disapproving look, scrunching his nose.

I turned back to the dish pile in the sink and smiled secretly to myself.


End file.
